Category Archives: Life

Parents remarrying after a divorce.

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It is common to find that the nuclear family has evolved into an extended or complex family unit, with one or both parents remarrying after a divorce. Often times neither the parents nor the children know how to cope with such changes. We continue with our daily lives, hoping that it will sort itself out without there being any confrontations. That kind of mindset is just asking for trouble. Nothing really goes away, depending on the type of kids you have, they will either become very vocal about things or they will suppress their feelings causing distance and a strain on all relationships.

Human beings are creatures of habit and we are most comfortable when things stay the same. Any change in our environment can therefore cause us to behave unreasonably and to even think irrationally. As adults we prefer to find things where we left them, and why shouldn’t we expect our children to feel the same way, after all, kids mirror their parent’s behavior. If things are not the way we left them, we sometimes ‘fly off the handle’, shouting and screaming at anyone who can hear us. This is exactly the way some children react to mummy’s new boyfriend or daddy’s new wife. Not only do things not stay the same, another human being who will take away mummy’s attention and rob them of time with daddy has been added to the mix, obviously they are going to throw their toys out of the cot.

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What then can be done to contain the situation?

  • Include everyone in family chores and activities, your new partner and children need to learn to get along, meal times and picnics could be great for forging relationships.
  • Communication is important, let your kids know that you still love them.
  • Don’t assume anything, children require clear and simple explanations about what is happening, what is expected and what is to follow. They will be more understanding and accepting of the change.

Still having problems managing change at home? Don’t stress, with the help of a relationship coach, together we can easily restore the peace in your home.

For detail Information and further guidance

Please Call us at 082 339 8393  or Contact Relationship Coaching Pretoria

Be an original they say, an original is worth more than a fake

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Of all the species in the world you were born a human being. According to science and religion, this is the highest known species yet. Now that you know how awesome you are, what are you going to do about it?

How often do we just let life happen to us, without any idea of where we would like to end up. Knowing that you are the highest species on earth shouldn’t you now be alive to the fact that your life and time is worth so much more. Unlike in the past when men were laughed upon for having “impossible” and “unreasonable” dreams, people are now encouraged to be different.

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Be an original they say, an original is worth more than a fake. When you live each day with passion you appreciate yourself and others more. You tend to fill your days with the things you love instead of being robbed of your precious time by insignificant issues. Life seems more colourful and full of adventure. Being grateful for each day, you are rewarded with only more to be grateful. Sharing your appreciation for life, brings with it an abundance of life, friends, prosperity and happiness.

Nothing is impossible and the moon seems too low for where you want to go. This passion for life is what will get you through those days when self-doubt and fear starts to creep in. Your realisation of how great you are can actually push you towards that big scary dream that you have,  Impossible is a myth, do not believe in it. Believe only in your dream, in your ability to turn it into reality and the reason why you deserve it.

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LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR

 “LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR”

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We are not animals, and yet for centuries people have turned barbaric, destroying one another with the sword and the pen. It is no fault of the children born in these countries ridden with hate and bloodshed and yet they are punished, what horrible brutes we have become, or can we redeem ourselves?

In the midst of all the calamity in the world, the Xenophobic attacks in South Africa, and the Earthquake in Nepal, we have also witnessed man’s greatest virtue, his goodwill towards his fellow man.

Neighbors love each other

It is heart wrenching to see thousands of bodies crushed beneath buildings, children orphaned and thousands more left homeless, and yet my faith in humanity has been restored. Despite all the negativity in the world, today we see thousands set into action without thinking of the difference in race or religion. Not logistical challenges nor threats of losing their own lives can stop them, this is what “love thy neighbor as thy self” means.

In every religious book we are encouraged to work for the good of humanity, and man has eventually acceded to the call of our prophets and Gods. Herein lies the proof: Swami Vivekananda: “Work on with the intrepidity of a lion but at the same time with the tenderness of a flower.”

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It warms my heart to see man’s instinct to kill turn into love and compassion. Natural disasters have awakened in man a natural desire to care, uplift and nurture the injured and fallen. This is how we were meant to live, in harmony, peace and unity.

Should you wish to register for the next Parliament in Salt Lake City,

kindly contact Suyan Budhoo on 082 339 8393, twitter @suyan_budhoo, facebook on Suyan Budhoo or e-mail her on info@successfocus.co.za .

Suyan Budhoo

SOUTH AFRICAN AMBASSADOR PARLIAMENT OF THE WORLD’S RELIGIONS 2015 PRETORIA, S.A.

Ambassador at Parliament of Worlds Religions

A PLEA FOR PEACE IN SOUTH AFRICA

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It fills my heart with pain and hurt that we even have to speak about xenophobic attacks in 2015, in South Africa, where Nelson Mandela passed the baton to all 52 million citizens to live in peace and unity.

Tata Mandela and so many freedom fighters lived in our neighbouring countries as refugees during the Apartheid regime and were even given Sudanese and Tanzanian passports in order to overcome Apartheid. If it wasn’t for those countries protecting and supporting our freedom fighter, we probably would not even have this democratic nation that we are taking advantage of.

I am reminded of Abraham Lincoln’s words: “Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves.”  It’s the people who were never involved in the freedom struggle themselves that are leading and instigating these Xenophobic attacks. It is a sad day, when people of the same race, religion and continent choose to only see the differences and not the similarities that we possess.

Perhaps it’s because the youth did not have to fight for their freedom that they have so little respect for what they have. Theylack responsibility and it shows in their actions, maybe because freedom has come freely to them. Ask any struggle stalwart or any mother who lost her son, fighting for liberation, if freedom was free? We received our freedom through the blood and tears of thousands of people, respect the blood of our men and women, by respecting the freedom they fought so hard for.

I love my beloved South Africa for the rainbow nation that we so proudly proclaim to be. I am grateful for not having to fight for my freedom. I feel privileged to be living in an open society where our Constitutional rights are protected.  But all this means nothing if we cannot live in peace and harmony in our beautiful country.

xenophobi-different raises people

Some of the visions shared by the Parliament of World’s Religions is of a just, peaceful and sustainable world marked by these characteristics:

  1. Religious and spiritual communities live in harmony and contribute to a better world from their riches and wisdom and compassion.
  2. Religious and cultural fears and hatreds are replaced with understanding and respect.
  3. People everywhere come to know and care for their neighbours.
  4. The richness of human and religious diversity is woven into the fabric of communal, civil, societal and global life.
  5. The earth and all life are cherished, protected, healed and restored.
  6. All people commit to living out their highest values and aspirations.

The hope for our future lies in our hands, as our present lay in the hands of our forefathers. Government, religious leaders, countries all around the world are calling for peace, to whose call will you heed?

 Suyan Budhoo
Life Coach JohannesburgSuccess Focus Pty Ltd

SOUTH AFRICAN AMBASSADOR PARLIAMENT OF THE WORLD’S RELIGIONS 2015 PRETORIA, S.A.

Ambassador at Parliament of Worlds Religions

Working for Others

Working for Others

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Parliament Worlds Religions 2015

The secret of Religion lies not in theory but in practice. To be good and do good that is the whole of religion.” By Swami Vivekananda. Swami Vivekananda lay down the path for Hinduism in the West at the First Parliament of Religions in Chicago in 1893. He spoke not of himself or his achievements, he did not even speak of his Guru, Sri Ramakrishna Parahamsa, but he spoke of the Religion of his people.

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Parliament of Worlds Religions 2015

We, the custodians of various faiths, ought to take a page out the books of these great men, who paved the way for us. The original speakers envisioned a world where all men lived in harmony albeit their differences. Every religion speaks of love and kindness as its foundation, how then can religion be blamed. Religion therefore is not to blame, but men. If it is men that have caused all the evil that exists in the world, it is men who will restore the world to its original beauty and harmony. To effect this restoration we therefore need men of faith, strength and courage to face those who have destroyed the peace in the world.

It is our duty to go wherever there is an outbreak of disease, hunger or wherever there is distress and mitigate the sufferings of the masses. We are not here to hold titles and attend conferences only. We must act, take it upon our shoulders to destroy the evils of this world.

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Registration for Parliament of Worlds Religions 2015

We must feel the pain of those suffering, until we can’t bare to just watch anymore. We have to set ourselves to work, work for the good of others, to lessen the suffering and to eradicate misconceptions that religion is to blame for all the suffering. Work in harmony, work as one, it doesn’t matter what religion you are, your suffering is my suffering and when you smile then I shall rest. Till then do not sit idle, thinking that it will all be done in time later. Nothing will be done, unless you get up and take action.

“They alone live who live for others, the rest are more dead than alive.”

Should you wish to register for the next Parliament in Salt Lake City,

kindly contact Suyan Budhoo on 082 339 8393, twitter @suyan_budhoo, facebook on Suyan Budhoo or e-mail her on info@successfocus.co.za .

Suyan Budhoo

SOUTH AFRICAN AMBASSADOR PARLIAMENT OF THE WORLD’S RELIGIONS 2015 PRETORIA, S.A.

Ambassador at Parliament of Worlds Religions

HOW I EXPERIENCE GOD

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Experience God

God is not an abstract being to be found in temples and churches but we find God within. How then can we find the God within? I have realised by asking the question “Who am I?” we can find God. This question can be answered at various levels, however we are looking for more than an intellectual or scientific answer.

We are looking for something more profound answer. The answer lies within your own being, and is pointed towards your own awareness. The answer should make you know yourself and feel yourself, it is an experience . When you get to that place of self awareness you become immune to the ups and downs of everyday life. Not poverty, anger nor disillusionment can touch you because you get such a strong sense of your position or belonging in relation to the rest of the Universe. You realise that everyone and everything has a duty to perform and everything fits in perfectly, almost like a puzzle.

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Once you realise your calling in life, you will be drawn miraculously towards everything and everyone to fulfil this calling. Life will become easier because you are not trying to fulfil a dualistic nature like most men are, but you are fulfilling the duty you were meant to on this earth.

It is not always easy to find ourselves, however it is not impossible either to find this awakening that everyone is looking for. This can be obtained by spending time with yourself, meditation is one way, however it is not the only way. In order to experience God we have to quieten the noise of the outside world. Let go of all the negativity that bombards our daily lives and question ourselves constantly, until you find the answer. Because each person is unique, and of a different spiritual level, the time it takes one person to find the answer is not necessarily the same time it will take another.

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An enlightened soul, one who has been awakened to his true calling and identity is always in bliss. It’s common knowledge that man is happiest when he does what he loves. This is the way God intended his children to live, discover who you are and when you do, live in line with what makes you happy.  This is how I experience God.

 Should you wish to register for the next Parliament in Salt Lake City,

kindly contact Suyan Budhoo on 082 339 8393, twitter @suyan_budhoo, facebook on Suyan Budhoo or e-mail her on info@successfocus.co.za .

Suyan Budhoo

SOUTH AFRICAN AMBASSADOR PARLIAMENT OF THE WORLD’S RELIGIONS 2015 PRETORIA, S.A.

Ambassador at Parliament of Worlds Religions

EASTER

Easter, although it comes around once a year

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Spiritual Speaker and Coach PretoriaSuyan Budhoo

I am a practising Hindu, and after having practised the Catholic faith for approximately 9 years, I understand and appreciate the Passion of Christ. Easter, although it comes around once a year, should be a reminder to all Christians to acknowledge and appreciate the sacrifices and suffering that Jesus Christ went through for his children. The reason for his crucifixion was so that all Christians should be absolved of their sins.

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Religious SpeakerSuyan Budhoo at Pretoria

“Forgive me father for I have sinned” should not be taken lightly, and although a kind and loving father forgives his children, we should not act like insolent teenagers taking advantage of the kind nature of God. Anybody that has observed Lent, Good Friday and Palm Sunday should do so with a heart filled with compassion. With a heavy heart as you relive and repeat the steps taken by Jesus Christ you should feel what He felt, crown of thorns, wooden cross upon his shoulders, bare footed across many miles and then nailed upon the very same cross for the salvation of you, his children. Many of us would not even make such sacrifices for our own parents or children, and yet He made it for you. Be grateful for his graces and appreciate what was done for you.

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Suyan BudhooSouth African Life Coach & Motivational Speaker

Behave like the ideal child and make your father proud of you. Love all, be kind to all, hurt none with your words or the sword for this is what Jesus Christ died for. Sin no more against friend or foe. Remember all the “Our Father’s” or “Hail Mary’s” that you’ve repeated over the years and make a decision this Easter to sin no more.

Amen

GRATITUDE

GRATITUDE

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As the Law of the Universe prescribes, what you focus on expands. Whether you focus on lack or abundance, what you put out into the Universe is what you will get back. This is how it was for thousands of years and this is how it shall forever be.

If what you focus on expands, isn’t it a good idea to focus on things that you want instead of focusing on things that you do not want. If you are grateful for what you now have you shall be blessed with more in the future. If you focus on your lack now, less shall be given to you, or even worse, that which you have will be taken from you.

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If we look at life in that light we will be thanking everyone that does even a little thing for us. Each day upon waking, if you are grateful for your good health, you shall be blessed with even greater health. Each day when you go to work, be grateful for your job, and you shall be blessed with better opportunities. When you are grateful for the money that you’ve earned you will be blessed with more even a thousand fold.If you are grateful for the people in your life, you will be blessed with many many years with them.

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Thanking people whenever you get an opportunity, brightens the day of two people, when you give a smile or a thank you, it is more rewarding to be the giver, then your soul will smile and the Universe will shower you eternal smiles. Expect nothing, do not hold out barter,and nothing will be expected of you. Give with your heart and only good things will be bestowed upon you. Gratitude begets plentitude, that is the law of life and that should be the attitude of your life.

 Suyan Budhoo
Life Coach JohannesburgSuccess Focus Pty Ltd

BE FEARLESS

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In years gone by adults used fear to get children to pray or attend church and yet they spoke of a loving and merciful God.  What then do we expect our children to believe? How can God punish us and still be loving.

The youth of today however do not believe in such superstitious religion and why should they, when we have also encouraged them to think for themselves and enquire into the meaning of science, technology, philosophy and poetry.  Why not enquire about God?  We should not be afraid of opening up our minds to questions like Who is God? What is religion? Why am I here? and Who am I? for the fear of stumbling upon the truth.

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Who am I? this is a question that some religions do not encourage for the fear of opening up a can of worms.  What if a child learns that he is gay, or if he wants to become an artist instead of a Doctor, or wants to explore another religion.  These are the type of fears parents have and sometimes instead of allowing our children to explore who they are we burden them with unfair expectations.

Fear in most cases are unwarranted, we worry about some future event that in any case may never occur.  If you have faith in your parenting skills and in the way you bring your children up then there is no need to fear.  Your children should therefore be encouraged to explore who or she is.  We as parents cannot teach our children, the child teaches himself.  Our duty is to afford opportunities and remove obstacles for his growth.

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Fear of some future event can cause unnecessary stress and may become your death in a form of some disease.  Being held captive by fear can be hell, playing games with your mind, this is unrighteousness, this is not the way God intended us to live our lives.  Living in fear is like being in prison, it is more important to have a free mind than it is to have a free body.  What good is it to live in this world, if we are always afraid to enjoy the benefits of this freedom.

“All the negative thoughts and ideas that are in this world have proceeded from this evil spirit of fear.  Therefore I say Be Fearless, be fearless”  Swami Vivekananda

Suyan Budhoo
South African Spiritual Speaker

WHAT IS KARMA?

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The word karma has its origin in Hinduism, and a loose literal translation would mean ones deeds and the effect such deeds yield. It is often misconstrued that karma only means punishment for past misdeeds, however this is not true. A good and merciful God also rewards the good actions of a good man.

Although this is a concept that had its origin in Hinduism, it does not belong exclusively to the Hindu’s. I have found this concept in the Bible as well “ As you sow, so shall you reap”, and its meaning- you will be rewarded or punished as per your actions. If we understand and accept all that is found in the Bible and the Vedas, as spiritual beings, why are we still struggling to rise above everyday challenges.

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Right living is simple as explained in our great books, it is the interpreters who have complicated it by over analysing and defaming the original message. The original meaning is that we should act in a way that is pleasing to God in order to get the rewards that we deserve as we can see from various religions.

Krishna–“Fixing your heart on Me, you will overcome every difficulty by My grace; but if from self-conceit you do not listen to Me, you shall perish utterly.”

Mohammed–“If you rely upon God as He ought to be relied upon, He will provide you as He provides the birds: they go out empty and hungry in the morning and come back big-bellied at eventide.”

Native American–“All things give thanks to You, O Wakan-Tanka, who are merciful, and who help us all. We ask all this of You because we know that You are the only One, and that You have power over all things!”

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All religions believe that we receive our rewards and punishment either in this life or in death. However Hinduism, because of its belief in rebirth believe that if we do not receive our benefits and punishment in this life, same can and will be meted out to us in our next life.

This theory to me, as a Hindu makes sense, how else do you explain the difference between the place, family, society and circumstances in which people are born. It is said in the vedas that our previous life determines this life and what we do in this life determines the circumstances of our next life.

Karma is the intertwined knot that has no beginning and no end, this symbolizes the interlinking of cause and effect, if you desire only positive results act only in a positive manner.

Suyan Budhoo
South African Spiritual Speaker